A Season of Change

As I find myself approaching 32, I’ve noticed that I’m less likely to censor my thoughts and really care more about being genuine and true to myself. I have also realized that I don’t want to (and more importantly, don’t have to) put up with people that bother me for one reason or another. In my 20s I put up with toxic friendships and interactions that I shouldn’t have. 

It’s okay to walk away; we only have one life and why should we fill it with anything less than what we deserve? You don’t have to put it up with it, I give you permission to say “fuck off” to someone or something toxic in your life. Or just ignore that needy friend who always needs to be the center of attention every once in a while. It will feel good and bring some needed positivity and change to your life.

I’ve been fairly nomadic with my life since I graduated from college in 2006. I’ve lost 3 jobs in over 5 1/2 years, lived in 5 states, rescued 3 pets and found a really good man who has been by my side through many, many struggles. I don’t share everything and try not to overshare, but since 2012 my life has been down more than up. And that doesn’t meant that I take any part of my life for granted or don’t realize how lucky I am to live the life I do. It also means that I’ve cut people out who are judgmental, toxic or just needy and unsupportive. I don’t need that, and you probably don’t either.

With that said, losing my job in May has really made me take stock of my life and changes I can make to better myself. It has given me a lot of perspective and a bit of much needed gumption! I’ve been accepted to more that a few Master’s programs (MBA, GIS, Environmental Science, Marketing) and never been able to bite the bullet and commit – mostly due to fear of taking on the financial burden of loans. But also fear of going in the wrong direction.

But if not know, when? How many more jobs will I lose (or dislike) in the next 5 years? I need to transition into a career that I will enjoy more and isn’t in such a niche field. I deserve at least that much. I need stability. I deserve stability, damn it! 

So I’m starting a Master in Science in Marketing program this fall. It will be as part time or full time as I want it to be, 10 week semesters and I can do all the classes online or travel about 30 minutes away for Saturday classes. I am, and will continue, to look for a job that is a good fit for me. I do freelance and coach on the side so we live a bit more frugally but can afford to take the time for me to find my direction right now. As much as I want to contribute 50/50 to our household expenses, it isn’t our reality currently.

Our lives, overall, are better than they were 6 months ago when my work environment was toxic and I was so unhappy (you can’t not bring that home, no matter what anyone says).  I don’t care what anyone else thinks about my situation or that I’m being “lazy” with my job search (yes I’ve heard that, remember what I said about toxic relationships?). I’ve also heard that I should suffer through my career (everyone does apparently?), and that “nobody likes their job” and to “get in good with a local politician”.  I won’t be setting up a GoFundMe anytime soon, but if you need a running coach or know of a good marketing position or volunteer opportunity…please reach out to me. I’m trying to grow, learn and embrace new opportunities. I’d appreciate it greatly!

Dare greatly and be true to yourself, and not to anyone else. Don’t let anyone have that power in your life.

Jill

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